"Welcome to the Blogger's Information Hotline. For the latest blogfests information, press one. For the latest blog hops information, press two. To set up your own blogfest, or blog hop, or blog party that you make out is because you care about positive interaction, but actually it's your way of accumulating followers, press three. For the latest information on how to be a blatant blogging self-promoter, press four or three.. For how to be even better at leaving vague comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the posting, press five. To learn to be really good at being a cynical blogger, press six. To find out how to be an incredibly sarcastic blogger, press seven. To leave comments to humour 'comedy' bloggers and pretend that their stuff is funny, when you know it isn't, press eight. To find out more about "IWSG" or 'I Was Seeking Gary', press nine. To have all the options repeated and to add your own suggestions to the Blogger's Information Hotline, press zero."
""Please stay on the line. Keep listening to 'Bloggy Wonderland'. There are one million calls ahead of you....."